What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize