why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
