Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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