did you get engaged???
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
