I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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