I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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