my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
