Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
