I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
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She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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