What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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