I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
