you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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