I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
