My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
