I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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