hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
did you just send me my own nude
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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