Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
