Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think your dad took our porno
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
