Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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