Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You don't make any sense
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