FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
