Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
