shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
