im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
