used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he shaved USA in his pubs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
