forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So much rum. So many feels.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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