When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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