You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!