it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you