She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.