Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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  (773): Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home? http://tfl.nu/5b5c
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (887)
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  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (804) Bad night (1056)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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  (248): apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/lqnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2949) Bad night (951)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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  (678): The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic. http://tfl.nu/0ai8
  Replies (56) Good night (10179) Bad night (1393)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.

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  (253): I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore. http://tfl.nu/1haa
  Replies (15) Good night (1495) Bad night (3660)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

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  (616): Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson. http://tfl.nu/7vwr
  Replies (16) Good night (1063) Bad night (4526)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?

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  (508): wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/zgl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1274) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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  (603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr
  Replies (21) Good night (1943) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

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  (269): We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him. http://tfl.nu/ojms
  Replies (0) Good night (844) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (612) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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  (306): I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later. http://tfl.nu/c155
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

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  (413): Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday http://tfl.nu/bix3
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.

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  (817): I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones. http://tfl.nu/bbiz
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Good point.

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  (334): That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating. (678): Good point. http://tfl.nu/bwir
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (286)

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