:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
