So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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