Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
