It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
