I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize