I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
