I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
