your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
