i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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