Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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