Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
