What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
