Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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