ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
