I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
