I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
