sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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