someone owes me an orgasm
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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