I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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