TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
