it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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