I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think my vagina is haunted
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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