so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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