You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
