I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
