white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
