dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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