dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize