marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
a search helicopter?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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