i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
