i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
