That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
