Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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